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Social Etiquette in Mexico
When you live and work in Mexico you'll begin to encounter distinct social graces and rules of social etiquette.
This guide to Mexico's modern-day social etiquette will help you to navigate through Mexico's social graces and avoid potential faux pas.
Also See: Society and Culture in Mexico and Business Etiquette
Class and Society in Mexico
Mexico is a class-conscious society. Titles (see below) and other status symbols are important within Mexico's social framework and should to be politely acknowledged.
Mexico has extremely polite and courteous mannerisms built-in to its social norms. Politeness, patience and tolerance in situations, however frustrating they may appear, is always appreciated and, indeed, ultimately rewarded in Mexico. Coversely, a display of impatience, anger, frustration or lack of general respect in formal or informal situations tend to fall on 'deaf ears' when dealing with most people in Mexico; and although people around you may not outwardly react to your conflictive behavior, the ultimate outcome in a situation could be made worse for you through deliberate obstruction or total rejection of your wishes, not because it is impossible to fulfil them, but as a reaction to what is deemed your impoliteness.
Language Formalities in Mexico
Mexicans are extremely polite by Latin American standards: indeed, politeness is built-in to the language and social graces of the culture.
It is common to use the formal form of language (Usted) when dealing with people you do not know or who are senior to you; for friends, close associates and informal situations, the informal (Tu) form of language is more appropriate.
The use of formal language in informal situations in Mexico is often employed as a means to express irony.
Related Blog: Mande Usted?
Meeting and Greeting People in Mexico
In Mexico, the meeting and greeting formalities are important, and failure to follow social protocols may be interpreted by others as rudeness.
Whereas in the US and some places in Europe, people will happily meet and just say "hello, nice to meet you", in Mexico, the correct physical contact is essential to build trust and respect with others.
A note about People's Names: In Mexico, people have three names: Their First name, their Paternal name and their Maternal name. Written, they will use all three (or the third will be often abbreviated with the first letter), but verbally they will use the first two. For example, Maria Vazquez Laredo would introduce herself as Maria Vazquez, or Señora/Señorita Vazquez (although see note below about Titles). In formal situations, especially, you should refrain from using first names until invited to do so.
Personal Space: Mexicans tend to stand closer to each other than in the USA and Europe. It may be off-putting at first, if you are used to having two feet or more of 'air' between you and other people (and especially those of the same gender as you), but in Mexico, it's quite common for people to stand and converse with each other a foot or less away from each other, regardless of gender. Stepping back too far may be taken as a sign of mistrust.
Men Meeting Men: Men always shake hands when they meet and before they depart each other's company. An "abrazo" (hug) is shared between friends; if you are unsure about whether to hug, allow the other person to lead: If, while shaking hands, he pulls you in toward him, follow through with your left arm on his back, and give him 2 or 3 pats on the back.
Men Meeting Women: It is appropriate to bow slightly when meeting a woman; in social situations, women may learn toward you to kiss; you should follow through with a light kiss on the cheek (only one, unlike Italy, for example). Hugging as above (Men Meeting Men). Note that, in business situations, it is less usual for women to expect a kiss on the cheek, and most women will simply offer a handshake.
Women Meeting Women: In social situations where women know each other, women will always hug and kiss each other on the cheek. If the women are being introduced for the first time, a light handshake is a minimum gesture and the woman may also lean forward kiss on the cheek (wait for the other person to lead if your are unsure).
If the social situation is special, for example, the person being introduced is celebrating a birthday or experiencing bereavement, then women will usually give the other a kiss on the cheek and a hug; it is also likely that women will kiss on the cheek and hug when they depart, also.
General Notes on Meeting & Greeting:
If you are introduced to a man or woman, you should always follow the protocols above: physical contact is essential - never just stand there and say 'hello, nice to meet you'.
Once you have built a rapport and have a friendship developing, you will find that your Mexican hosts will be much warmer, and physical contact in the "meet and greet" process will be more prominent (e.g. handshakes and hugs will be firmer and last longer).
Don't allow any personal reserve you might have interfere with this process: it is essential to gaining people's trust and understanding in Mexico.
The Use of Titles in Mexico
Professional Titles are extremely important in Mexico -- a big status symbol -- even in some informal situations.
Professionals with a degree are not referred to as Señor or Señora/Señorita in professional (and some social) situations, but instead with their professional title.
The most common titles are: Licenciado/a (Professional e.g. Lawyer, BSc, etc), Ingeniero/a (Engineer) Doctor/a (Doctor), Arquitecto/a (Architect), Maestro/a (Master -- often used for fine artists and master crafts people), and Professor (Professor).
When you are being introduced to someone with a title, the person making the introduction may refer to them by their title; in this case, follow the example and refer continually to the title until you are invited to use, perhaps, a first name.
If the person you are meeting immediately refers to themselves by their professional title, you can take that as a cue to know that the conversation will be formal, even if the situation may be a social or informal one.
It's also important to respect seniority even in informal situations, for example, when in the company of respected or admired senior citizens; in this case it's appropriate to use Don for men and Doña for women.
An excellent summary of titles and social etiquette in language may be gleaned from Foreign Native's blog: This Title is Better than No Title.
Eating Out and Dining Etiquette in Mexico
Here are some key tips in regard to eating out and dining socially in Mexico.
For information about attending business meals, refer to our guide to Business Etiquette in Mexico
Invitations and Settlement: If you invite someone to eat out, it is assumed (and expected) that you will settle the bill. Splitting the bill is not done in Mexico and, indeed, suggesting it should be done is considered rude and uncouth. The invitee(s) will always offer to pay: this is a social grace, and one that should always be politely declined. If you are invited out for a meal you, too, should offer to pay, and then gratefully accept the decline of your offer.
Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner: Social breakfasts may last for thirty minutes or for two or more hours, depending on the situation. Lunch is the main meal of the day and you should always plan to spend at least two hours enjoying this meal; it's rude to rush off immediately afterwards. Dinners in Mexico tend to be 'friends and family' affairs; business dinners are uncommon except between close business associates. If you are invited to dinner -- especially to a person's home -- this is quite an honor. You may take wine and/or flowers if you have been invited to dinner at someone's home. If you only take one item, take flowers.
Dress Code at a Restaurant: Formal restaurants should always be attended with a shirt and tie; a formal dress for women. Less formal settings may befit smart-casual attire; but it's generally impolite to show up in casual attire, especially for dinner. If you are unsure about the attire for a dining arrangement, talk with your host, contact the restaurant or, as a last resort, dress formally for dinner and smart-casual for breakfast or lunch.
Table Etiquette:
- If you are at a restaurant, it is customary to allow your host to order for you. If you are the host, ascertain your guest's choices and order accordingly on their behalf;
- Always keep your hands above the table;
- Never get up to leave (e.g. to use the toilet) soon after the meal is finished, unless it's an emergency;
- Excess drinking is frowned upon in Mexico; especially (but not exclusively) when it's undertaken by women: always regulate your alcohol intake in these social occasions;
- It is local custom for men to offer toasts; the traditional toast in Mexico is "salud" (health);
- It is customary for the host to say "provecho" before starting a meal; provecho, literally translated from Spanish, means "privilege", and is the equivalent of the French "bon apetit";
- Some foods, like tacos, tortas and tostadas are eaten using your fingers; using a knife and fork may be impractical and even look comical; if in doubt, follow the lead of the other diners;
- Good topics of conversation at a meal include family (asking about your host's family is always warmly appreciated), Mexican culture, museums, art and architecture, cuisine, and fond travel experiences;
- It's advisable not to bring up the topics of war, politics, immigration, drugs or earthquakes.
Tipping at Restaurants: Mexico has a strong tipping culture and, if you are settling the bill, you must include a tip (unless the service was very poor). For details read our Guide to Tipping at Restaurants in Mexico
Dress Code in Mexico
Dress is another important aspect of Mexican social culture. People may often 'treat you as they see you', so in business and social situations you need to dress appropriately.
- For formal occasions, men should always wear a suit and tie and women a formal dress;
- For informal occasions, smart-casual attire may be appropriate depending on the venue and situation;
- Always dress conservatively; navy, black and gray are best colors if you are unsure;
- In Mexico's big cities (Mexico City, Guadalajara and Monterrey) shorts and tennis shoes should be avoided for general attire, even if they are dress shorts;
- At Mexico's coastal cities, e.g. Cancun, Acapulco, Los Cabos, most formal meetings don't require you to wear a shirt and tie (or suits) due to the heat and relaxed nature of these locations; smart casual (or elegant casual) using light clothing is used instead.
Time and Punctuality in Mexico
The English are so well known for their punctuality that, in Mexico, there's a saying people use after agreeing a time with you: "Hora Inglesa", literally translated means "English Time"; the inference is that the time agreed should be strictly adhered to.
In Mexico, time is not regarded as the panacea that it is in other westernized economies. Time is a very flexible thing in Mexico. As such, don't be offended or surprised if your contacts in Mexico don't show up in timely fashion: tardiness can be due to a range of different things and if it happens there will always a be a 'good reason' for it!
For social events, you could show up 30 minutes later than the time on the invitation. Even back home, people rarely show up for parties at the exact time; preferring to arrive a little later on: in Mexico this is quite common.
If you are sending out invitations to a social gathering, keep in mind that guests won't show up at the time you state and, importantly, it is not customary to define an 'end time' for social occasions in Mexico. Sometimes invitations specify a time at which the event will end but in Mexico, this should be left open-ended, i.e. no end time should be specified.
Gifts and Gift-Giving in Mexico
Gift-giving is another important aspect of Mexican social culture. Gifts are seen as symbols of affection and appreciation and the absence of a gift on some occasions may be construed as a 'cold shoulder'. Here are some tips about giving gifts in Mexico:
- Although gifts are not required if you are invited to dinner, they are appreciated. A gift should be taken if you are invited to someone's home for dinner. Flowers are the best gift; alternatives are wine, fine confectionery, or a small gift related to your home country;
- Secretaries appreciate gifts in return for their assistance; for example, if a friend's secretary helped you arrange some travel plans, or booked a restaurant for you. If you are male, you should indicate that the gift is from your wife or partner;
- If you want to give a gift, inquiring about what kind of gift would like to be received may be considered discourteous;
- Do not give Mexicans gifts associated with tourist mementoes; for example, items sold at Mexican airports should be avoided;
- Bottles of good quality (fine) tequila, rum, whisky or brandy make good gifts, but be sure you know the person's drinking preferences (some people don't drink alcohol);
- Ideal gifts are flowers, fine plants, fine confectionery, silk scarves, bottles of good wine or good liquor (see note above), and unique or interesting gifts from your own country (NB not from your own country made in e.g. China).
Mexican Social Etiquette Miscellany
Finally, here are some hints and tips about general social etiquette in Mexico:
- Avoid referring to Americans as "Gringos". Although some American people refer to themselves as such, it's generally an inappropriate reference in conversation;
- When meeting a group of people, it's polite to greet each person individually (see notes above about about greetings) and not everyone "en bloc";
- You should make an attempt to speak some Spanish. It will be greeted with warmth and considered a gesture of good-will. You will never be ridiculed or made fun of for making the effort;
- It's important to say good-bye to people properly in Mexico; just walking out without saying good-bye may be considered as poor form or rudeness on your part;
- Women in Mexico expect (and appreciate) gentlemanly behavior, for example, doors to be opened for them by men; and they also like being helped to their seat at a table;
- It's best practice not to compare Mexico with your own country, or other countries you have visited, except in constructive terms;
- The national flag is an important national symbol and should never be exhibited, used or referred to in defamatory terms;
- Vulgar language and sexual innuendo, in Spanish or English, is frowned upon in polite conversation in Mexico, and people are likely to judge you harshly for employing it, even if you don't mean offense;
- Mexicans use a "psst" sound to attract another person's attention in public places, for example, a waiter's attention at a restaurant. Although this is practiced frequently in Mexico, it is inappropriate for a foreigner to follow suit in the company of others or by themselves on another occasion;
- When walking past someone who has yielded to you, or past people who is are conversation with each other (e.g. to excuse your passing between them); when exiting an elevator, or leaving an office or a room when others will remain present, it is customary to say "permiso"; and when someone says permiso, in these situations, it is customary to reply "propio";
- When someone sneezes, it's customary to say "salud", literally meaning 'health' although it is the linguistic equivalent of 'bless you'. If someone says this to you when you sneeze, it is customary to say 'gracias' (thank you);
- Putting your hands on your hips is a sign of aggression in Mexico; hands in your pockets when in conversation with someone, as in many countries, is regarded as bad manners.
Local Knowledge about Mexico
For more in-depth local knowledge about Mexico, also read the following guides and blogs on Mexperience: