Chilango is the name given to inhabitants of Mexico City, who are notorious in the provinces for being obnoxious when they venture out of town. The expression chilango initially referred to people from the provinces who migrated to Mexico City, although it later came to be applied to those born and bred in the capital, and that is now the commonly and universally accepted usage. The opposite of chilango could be provinciano.

The chilangos’ disdain for the provincianos’ lack of sophistication has earned them a reputation for being both pedantic and manipulating. It’s not only their sacred CDMX (Mexico City) license plates that supposedly exempt them from red lights and no-parking signs in one-horse towns, they’re also the ones who talk about nothing but money and Instagram, and between sips of piña colada loudly and condescendingly proclaim that they could stay here forever—knowing full well that they couldn’t.

The charm of the colonial towns, the relaxing atmosphere of the holiday resorts, are only good for the chilangos when they need to rest from the daily rush of the capital, the pushing and the shoving, the traffic snarls, horn-blowing and general stress that ultimately make them important.

They’ll pay outrageous sums of money for specific brands of clothes, shoes, and electronic goods at their local mall, but will haggle down the most reasonable price asked by the local artisan at a handicrafts market.

There’s a saying in certain parts of Mexico, particularly the north and the west, that goes: haz patria, mata un Chilango — “do something for your country, kill a Chilango.” This is a bit misleading. Despite their negative idiosyncrasies, particularly seen from the provinces, the chilangos make up a great deal of the domestic tourism in Mexico—and some tourist towns and villages situated within a short drive of the capital absolutely depend on chilangos taking weekend sojourns. (The capital accounts for a fifth of gross domestic product, and Mexico City, which engulfs parts of the adjacent Mexico State, is home to one sixth of the country’s population.)

The chilangos’ bad name is a generalization which often turns out not to be the case. In that sense, people from Monterrey are said to be stingy; people from Puebla not very bright; people from Jalisco and its capital Guadalajara are said to be  particularly priggish. The chilangos just happen to have more negative traits than anyone else.

In this fifth and final part of the series we explore the need to develop cultural awareness as you settle-in and adapt to your lifestyle in Mexico.

Getting to know Mexico well and becoming intimately involved in the country and its ways is a skill that can only be truly developed with the experience of having lived here for a good while, and taking the necessary care to observe, acknowledge and learn about the local environment you have adopted as your home—whether you live in Mexico full-time or part-time.

However, some background research into Mexican culture, how its society is structured, and learning about the country’s social etiquette can help you to show up in Mexico better prepared for everyday social and business interactions.

If you plan to work in Mexico, whether under the auspice of a formal employment contract or working independently, you’ll also need to familiarize yourself with Mexican business etiquette.

If you’re planning to call Mexico home, it’s worth getting an understanding of how the social fabric is structured. Understanding how the government is structured, the basic principles of the country’s legal and judicial systems, how the police and military operate, how religion is practiced and so on, will help you to get a broad backdrop to this country and its social norms.

Understanding social etiquette is vitally important when you are in the throes of adopting a foreign country as your home. Behaviors which appear irregular to you may be quite normal in Mexico; and vice-versa. You can avoid potential embarrassment and social faux pas by becoming familiar with local social etiquette.

For example, understanding how the social structure is organized, the formalities of language use in everyday situations, the expected use of professional titles, the appropriate way to greet people, how to dress, dinner table manners, giving gifts, time-keeping and a miscellany of social etiquette practices will help you navigate the everyday nuances of Mexican culture and social traditions respectfully.  You can find further insights on all this on our guide to social & business etiquette—see the Resources section below.

If you plan to conduct business in Mexico, you’ll need to familiarize yourself with a further set of rules—those concerning business etiquette. As we described in part four of this series, doing business in Mexico is distinct to doing business in the USA, Canada and western Europe.

Moving to a foreign country to live is challenging enough. Adopting that country and embracing its culture and ways is a life-skill that requires a degree of presence and observation, patience, understanding, and acceptance. In these respects, kindling your relationship with Mexico will be like kindling a relationship with any other. Patience and tenacity will also be required, because even in laid-back, easy-going cultures with a great climate, life is difficult sometimes.

Today, an unprecedented number of Americans and Canadians —and an increasing number of Europeans— are not just talking about moving to Mexico, they are actively pursuing those plans.

Foreigners who come to Mexico without the open mindedness, flexibility and patience required to adopt a foreign country will almost certainly find themselves increasingly frustrated, agitated, and may end up leaving—but it doesn’t have to be this way.  For those who come to know these lands, and who are willing to assimilate the culture with its foibles and graces in equal measure, Mexico provides foreign residents with one of the most unique and rewarding living locations the world has to offer.

Resources for developing cultural awareness

Learn more about settling-in and developing your network of contacts in Mexico.

• Finding your place in Mexico
• Adapting and settling-in to your new lifestyle
• Cultivating your social and community networks
• Mexican Spanish language use in everyday situations
• Guide to social & business etiquette
• Latest articles about Mexican culture and local customs

When someone apologizes for some wrong done to another, it’s as common in Mexico to hear pido una disculpa (I ask you to forgive me) as it is to hear ofrezco una disculpa (I offer an apology).

Disputes arise with the expression pedir una disculpa. Some, including the Spanish Royal Academy (RAE), say that it can mean ask to be forgiven or excused, while the Mexican Language Academy (Academia Mexicana de la Lengua) says una disculpa —in this sense, an apology— can only be demanded by the offended party and offered by the offender.

Each draws a different conclusion using the same definition of disculpa.

The Mexican academy argues that since disculpa isn’t a precise synonym of perdón (pardon or forgiveness), it shouldn’t be substituted for it. The RAE suggests that if the verb disculpar can be used to mean to ask forgiveness, then the noun disculpa can also be a synonym of pardon or forgiveness.

With two such authorities in disagreement on matters pertaining to the correct use of language, the best mere mortals can hope to do is take a look at (or listen to) how Spanish speakers in Mexico go about apologizing for their misdeeds or negligence in daily life.

Starting with an easy one. You bump into someone on the Metro or on a crowded street. “¡Perdón!” or “disculpe” —(sorry!)— is usual, and enough. Often both parties will apologize in this way at the same time, in which case one may assume the disculpa is simultaneously requested and granted. Note “disculpe” is the polite or formal form of the imperative, implying usted whereas the informal form of the verb would be “disculpa.”

For more egregious offenses, one is more likely to ask for out and out forgiveness than to offer an excuse. “Perdóname” or “te pido perdón,” although “discúlpame” is also common. “Lo siento” is another way of saying I’m sorry.

While there is no dispute among Spanish speakers that ofrecer una disculpa is correct, to the English-speaking mind (and to the extent that language affects our way of thinking, if anyone would like to go down that rabbit hole) it can sound a bit like the offender offering to forgive himself or herself.

But se disculpó means the person apologized, not that the person forgave themselves. Or as RAE notes above, disculparse in this sense can mean to justify, and it gives the example of someone blaming the traffic for their tardiness to some engagement.

If this PinPoint Spanish article creates more confusion than it clears up, de antemano una disculpa. 

¿A dónde hablo? (where am I calling?) comes a sharp, testy voice.

The easiest way to clear up wrong numbers is to say where the person has called, but usually you don’t want to do that. Instead you respond: ¿Quién habla? (Who’s calling?)

A gentler version of this is ¿Con quién quería hablar? (Who did you want to speak to?), but not necessarily in keeping with local telephone etiquette.

The ensuing conversation can become quite a battle of wills —”no, you tell me”— and frequently ends with both parties hanging up and shaking their heads in incredulity at some people’s lack of manners.

The exchanges can also become the subject of those “I said, he said” monologues, including a description of how the “victim” came up with the perfect put-down for the “offender.”

The problem with all this is that it may not be a wrong number. It could be someone you know who didn’t recognize your voice over the phone, and vice-versa—possibly even one of your in-laws.

Translated literally, the words say “what happens is that…,” although in Mexico this arrangement of words is frequently used to begin sentences that must inevitably end in the listener’s disappointment.

The concepts of ‘no’ and ‘can’t’ do not rest comfortably in the realms of polite conversation and friendly interaction of Mexican social and business culture and so to avoid being off-hand, Mexicans (and foreign natives who have assimilated Mexican culture) can often be overheard using the now ubiquitous “lo que pasa es que” at or near the start of sentences which require a pretext to soften the blow of the unfavorable response about to be conveyed.

Although it’s possible to perceive the words as nothing more than short shrift intended to assuage the consequences of poor form in the undertaking of some deed or promise, that would be technically inaccurate when taken in the broader context of Mexican culture, and especially when you have been in Mexico long enough to understand some of the primary reasons which can bring about no hay.

The words may be applied to your circumstance in almost any given situation. You might be going to pick-up your dry cleaning on the day it’s due; or visiting a coffee shop to meet someone who doesn’t show up; you might be ordering your favorite dish from a restaurant’s menu, or calling to inquire why your cable TV signal has unexpectedly vanished. It seems most often heard in an assortment of bureaucratic environments, when you attend a place to receive some authorization, certificate, or thing vital to progress your endeavors.

Whatever the situation, when a sentence directed towards you contains the words “lo que pasa es que…,” you need to immediately adjust your expectations and understand that however eloquent, plausible, compelling —or otherwise— the reasons about to be explained to you are, the answer will be a form ‘no,’ or ‘no hay.’

Tipping in a variety of situations

The practice of tipping goes far beyond the restaurant table here. As our guide to tipping etiquette explains, there are many situations in Mexico where a small tip is appropriate, and keeping change on-hand, in the form of small denomination coins, is essential for this purpose when you are visiting or living in the country.

Key situations where a tip may be appropriate

There are three situations which are worth a particular mention as they are often overlooked by visitors and residents new to Mexican culture:

Chamber maids

The first relates to the unsung heroines (they are invariably women) of the hotel industry: chamber maids.   They will often travel a considerable distance to reach your hotel and spend the day cleaning and keeping guest rooms in good order, so that when you get back to your room, it’s waiting for you clean, fresh, and tidy.

It’s appropriate to leave a small tip and leave it each day because work schedules change, and the maid who cleaned your room initially may not be on duty the day you check-out.

The amount of the tip should vary depending upon the category of hotel: a sum in Mexican pesos, left in cash on the side table (next to the maid’s greeting card if one is present), equivalent to between US$1 (for economy hotels) and US$5 (for luxury hotels) per day is suggested and will be sincerely appreciated.

Supermarket bag packers and car park helpers

The second situation concerns students and retired folks working at supermarkets across the country to pack bags at the checkout counters. For students, the money they earn contributes to the funding of their education; for retired folks, the money they earn supplements their pension.

When you roll your shopping cart of out the store into the car park you might notice some people waiting and offering to help you.  They will take your cart to your car (or hail a local cab, if you need one) and load your shopping bags into the car’s trunk.  A small tip of $5-10 pesos is appropriate.

Bag packers and car park helpers are not salaried and work entirely on tips.

All-inclusive hotels and package tours

The third situation relates to “all inclusive” hotels and travel packages or tours.  A small few packages stipulate that ‘tips are included’ and in this case no further tipping is required.

However in most cases, guides, porters, the concierge, meal table waiting staff, and the chamber maids (see above) will appreciate a tip—even if, for example, the price of your meals (or just breakfast) is included in the room rate.

For local guides and tour leaders: a reasonable tip commensurate with the amount of time and knowledge they shared with you is appropriate.

For hotel and waiting staff: one US dollar (equivalent in Mexican pesos) per bag for porters; a 10% tip of the bill (or what the bill would likely have been if the plan was a-la-carte instead of all inclusive) left on the table after each meal or round of drinks at the bar; and a tip for the chamber maids (see above) will be very much valued.

Further insights on tipping culture

Mexperience offers more advice about local tipping etiquette:

• Latest articles about tipping in Mexico
• Read our guide to tipping in Mexico which contains a comprehensive list of situations and suggested amounts you may consider tipping in specific circumstances
• Learn more about local customs and traditions in Mexico

Detailed insights about social etiquette and local customs in Mexico

Insights into Mexican social and business protocols and etiquette

This comprehensive guide helps you navigate Mexico’s modern-day social etiquette, get a good grasp of the graces practiced in the local cultural environment and prevent you from making embarrassing social blunders.

If you live in Mexico, or plan to move here, this guide shares invaluable information about how to assimilate Mexican culture and customs.

If you plan to work in Mexico, or if you’re planning to visit Mexico to conduct business and develop commercial relationships here, you’ll discover insights to help you prepare for your meetings and working relationships.

• Understand social etiquette in Mexico
• Learn how to act and respond in specific situations
• Speed up your assimilation of Mexican culture
• Avoid embarrassing faux pas

Learn about social etiquette and culture in Mexico

Mexperience offers you a comprehensive online resource of information and local knowledge to help you learn about Mexico’s culture and social customs.

• Guide to social etiquette and local customs
• Making friends and cultivating social networks
• Adapting and settling-in to your lifestyle in Mexico
• Articles about Mexican culture
• Articles about local customs
• Essential skills for expats series

You can take many walks by yourself and never actually speak to anybody you don’t know, much as you might do if you travel on the Metro or in buses. If you are in the habit —as many Mexico City residents are— of driving everywhere, your only communication with your fellow denizens may be a shaking of the head, blowing of the horn, or an untoward hand signal that goes unnoticed by its intended recipient

Striking up a conversation becomes more or less necessary, however, when you come face-to-face with someone who, like you, is on the defensive end of a leash being stretched to its limit by a pet whose intentions could be anything from simple acquaintance to a battle to the death.

This is as good a time as any to establish your “dog-expert” credentials.

You could start out with, ¿qué raza es?, which would be OK as long as the other’s dog isn’t a German Shepherd, a Labrador, or some other well-known breed.

Many dog breeds are the same in Spanish as in English or their original language. Examples are Rottweiler, Doberman, Schnauzer, Bulldog, Boxer. Others are literal translations, for example, pastor alemán (German Shepherd), pastor inglés (English Sheepdog), gran danés (Great Dane).

For some breeds, the habit of using an English adjective and turning it into a Spanish noun is applied. So a French Poodle becomes “un french,” a Golden Retriever “un golden,“ and a Cocker Spaniel, “un cocker.”

A mongrel in Mexico is described as corriente, or callejero (street dog), criollo, or euphemistically, cruzado con corriente (cross with mongrel).

Another possible opener, ¿es macho o hembra? would show you know that, ordinarily, there ought to be no problem if they are opposites, although it could do severe damage to your pose as someone who knows all about dogs.

¿Muerde? is probably the most sensible, yet impractical question. Besides, the growling and barking may only be directed at the other dog, and could also be mere frustration at being held back by a chain.

Anyway, once the preliminaries have been dispensed with, and a decision made whether to allow the dogs to associate freely, come what may, the owners can then get introduced and share impressions on the one thing they apparently have in common—a love of dogs.

Where you would expect to hear things like, what do you feed it? does he sleep indoors or outdoors? has she been spayed? what you actually get are things like, she’s normally quite sociable, he only fights if he’s afraid, he thinks he’s bigger than he actually is.

The habit of attributing psychological or sociological characteristics to an irrational quadruped appears to say more about the owner than the dog, but in any case it serves to get people talking to each other who might otherwise not so much as exchange a “good day.”

Sometimes you’ll come away from these meetings shaking your head and saying to yourself, “I can’t believe I said that!” And the dog, now more settled after a romp in the grass or a bit of a scrap, would probably agree if it could.

Tolerance of one’s fellow commuter tends to be inversely proportionate to the number of people aboard the train, and the pushing and shoving in packed carriages around rush-hour can sour the mood of the most ardent philanthropist.

Types of traveler on Mexico City’s metro trains

For those who do or plan to travel on the capital’s Metro — which is still often the fastest, cheapest, and easiest way to get from one end of the the city to the other —  here are some brief descriptions of the more obvious types of traveler you may encounter.

The Window Slammer

This passenger storms on to the nearly empty train on cold mornings and walks briskly through the carriage slamming the windows shut, then sits down assertively and proceeds to sniffle, discouraging his fellows from invading this space.

The Door Blocker

Stands by the doors for the whole duration of the journey, and is testy about other people pushing-by to get on or off. A door blocker will board a crowded train just as the buzzer is sounding, and stop right by the entrance, causing those behind to have to push to get on, or miss the train. Door blockers usually wear a bulging backpack.

The Seat Reliever

This (usually female) passenger uses a sort of moral blackmail to show the comfortably seated that they probably shouldn’t be. She will stand right in front of the seated person (usually male), and inadvertently press a bag into his knees. One way out of this for those who embarrass easily is to pretend you were getting off, and vacate the spot.

The Worrier

Keeps asking people between him or her and the door if they’re getting off at the next stop. ¿Va a bajar? The question implies, “and if not, could you move aside so that I may?” This would be fine if the train wasn’t still waiting at the previous station.

The Loud Talker

Thinks everyone is interested in hearing about his or her weekend, or day at the office, or heated exchange with a teacher, usually accompanied by a friend or co-worker who limit their responses to the occasional, “ah-ha,” or nod of agreement. A lot of “and so I said,” and “and so he said.”

The Earphone Hummer

Mumbles along to music being played loud enough through an earphone to be audible, but not discernible, to others nearby, often accompanying this with foot tapping, body swaying, and the occasional outburst of “yeah baby!” or “all right!”, oblivious to eyes being rolled in the immediate vicinity.

The Traveling Texter

Gets on everybody’s nerves, using both hands to type away furiously with two thumbs instead of holding on, often leans on the poles taking up the space of two (or at least one and a half) people, and pays no attention to others who need to push past to get off.

Virtual tour of a ride on the metro

These and other videos on YouTube illustrate visually typical rides on Mexico City’s metro.

Mexico’s birthday song

It takes the occasion of a birthday for most people who are not familiar with Mexico to come across Las Mañanitas—Mexico’s birthday song. Most people who hear it are immediately struck by its captive tune and the gentle rhythm of the words. You can hear Las Mañanitas sung at birthday parties in homes, at schools, in restaurants—even in the street.

The song is strongly associated with Mariachis, who are traditionally commissioned by family or friends to arrive outside the home of the person celebrating a birth-day and serenade them at daybreak, waking them from their slumber to celebrate their special day. If you’re in Mexico and hear Las Mañanitas being played at 5 a.m. you’ll know a neighbor is celebrating another happy return of the day.

The song is also widely heard on Mother’s Day. With its strong matriarchal culture, Mother’s Day is one of the most important dates on the annual calendar in Mexico, and Las Mañanitas is consistent in its appointment as the serenade of choice for the occasion.

To accompany the memorable tune, Las Mananitas also offers some well-woven and at times moving lyrics, far removed from those of the blithe “Happy Birthday Song,” and perhaps that’s why so many English speakers latch on to Las Mañanitas when they hear it.

The traditional song has many verses, and on most occasions only the first two or three are recited —and not necessarily in the order as written— although invariably, the first verse never alters.

Through the years, contemporary Mexican musicians have recorded popular versions of Las Mañanitas, the most famous at present is perhaps the highly-celebrated voice and sound of Vicente Fernandez, and while YouTube lets you hear it, only a live rendition can really capture the emotion and feelings which accompany yet another Mexican cultural accomplishment: a birthday song worth singing.

Lyrics to Las Mañanitas, Mexico’s birthday song

Estas son las mañanitas que cantaba el rey David
hoy por ser día de tu santo, te las cantamos aquí.

Despierta, mi bien despierta, mira que ya amaneció
ya los pajaritos cantan, la luna ya se metió.

Qué linda está la mañana en que vengo a saludarte
venimos todos con gusto y placer a felicitarte.

El día en que tú naciste, nacieron todas las flores
y en la pila del bautismo cantaron los ruiseñores.

Ya viene amaneciendo ya la luz del día nos dio
levantate de mañana, mira que ya amaneció.

Si yo pudiera bajarte las estrellas y un lucero
para poder demostrarte lo mucho que yo te quiero.

Con jazmines y flores este día quiero adornar
hoy por ser día de tu santo te venimos a cantar.

Listen to a popular rendition of the song

Mexico’s birthday song sung by Vicente Fernandez

The word apparently originated in colonial times and referred to an indigenous servant of the Spanish gentry. In modern times, its use has become more widespread and its application broadened to include anyone deemed to show a lack of education in their use of language, taste in music, food, cars—or anything else.

It can be used as a noun or an adjective, although with members of the middle and upper-middle classes applying it liberally to each other, the adjectival form is now probably more frequent. Its use became so common, that the superlative naquísimo is employed to deal with more egregious lapses of etiquette.

Naco’s social opposite is the dainty fresa—originally applied to the spoiled (usually female) children of the monied classes, who wouldn’t wish to be seen dead on public transport, for example. That has also been extended, and now includes anyone who’s touchy about tastes, and possibly allergic to all known germs. Naco can apply to women in the feminine form naca, and fresa can be applied to males with no change in ending.

Neither naco, nor fresa, has a single equivalent in English. In some cases, “redneck,” or “hick” would apply to the former, and “yuppy” to the latter, but the application is too specific to capture all the Mexican possibilities.

The outburst “no seas naco/naca” (“don’t be naco/naca”) is often preceded or followed by the manifestly fresa and evidently meaningless interjection “o sea.”

Because of the class aspect, a person who happens to have a lot of money, but is still a bit of a philistine, doesn’t escape the epithet of naco, either; and distasteful shows of opulence can merely make one a naco con lana — naco with money.  This expression also says a fair amount about the sensitivities of the fresas and their misunderstanding about the virtues or source of their wealth.

You shouldn’t have to spend too long in Mexico before coming across these words, but if you’re impatient for practical examples, here are some things you can do to prompt someone into uttering them:

To hear “No seas naco”

• Wear the collar of your shirt outside the collar of your jacket;
• Burnout the clutch on an incline rather than use the handbrake;
• Play a lot of norteño music, and tap your foot or even sing along;
• Squeeze into a seat on a Metro train car or bus and start nodding off, leaning to one side or the other and forcing your neighbors to readjust their position every couple of minutes.

To hear “Ay, qué fresa”

• Tell people you have Shakira or Luis Miguel on your Spotify playlists;
• Loudly mention important people you know;
• Break out the hand gel every time you touch anything on the street;
• Fan your face in the elevator even if it’s not hot out.

The expressions —roughly pitching the haves against the have nots— are seemingly more palatable in these days of identity politics and social media and probably more politically correct than the naco versus fresa of days gone by.

Neither of the words are new, but they have been popularized by contemporary politics. President Andrés Manuel López Obrador likes to refer to his political adversaries as fifís, and to critical media as the neo-liberal or fifí press.

The fifís, meanwhile, have adopted the word chairo to describe the unconditional supporters of the president who are seen more or less as left-wing in their politics and into the kind of causes espoused by the left. Into the causes, not necessarily dedicated to them.

The monied classes were called fifís as far back as the Mexican Revolution in the early 20th century, predating such expressions as “fresa,” “junior” (the offspring of the wealthy), and “mirreyes”—the badly behaved, ostentatious offspring of the wealthy.

Use of the word chairo could be traced back as far as the 1960s, although the meaning has changed somewhat, and it now supposedly describes those who could be considered as modern-day hippies. The comeback “derechairo” was coined to refer to chairos on the political right.

As with most social dichotomies, no one really fits perfectly or entirely into one group or the other. Academics can easily be fifís or chairos, or a bit of both; so can bohemian types.  Attitude has a lot to do with it, but there are no clear battle lines.

This hasn’t stopped pollsters from coming up with “fifi-o-meters” and creators of memes have composed entire collections on the theme, illustrating how people haven’t lost their sense of humor over it.